Too many zombies and too much wine? Surely not possible

When you are being harrassed for the buttons you promised for a button swap, what can you do but call out the big literary guns and invoke the Merchant of Venice to defend your honour??  However, dear friend B didn't get the reference and mucho text weirdness ensued (she started it with that alien emoticon, honest guv!).  Learn from this lesson, folks, and don't drunk text!